The title doesn't mean that am back in action with my blog..in fact it can mean that too..but it actually means am back in track with my life !
For last two years I was not living my life, I guess ! I became an Emarati,back in 2006.Though I didn't like the fast moving life here in the beginning, very fast I also started enjoying the "mind your own business" attitude and life here !! And to be very honest,that's what I like most about the city..nobody is bothered about what the hell others do and how they live here ! I was busy with the job I had in SCB, was learning slowly the politics out there,you cant go a long way,if you are too honest and sincere, you have to please many,to get your rights..and all these corporate laws was new to me as a fresher ! Anyways I really enjoyed my professional life,I had a very good circle of friends as well..some of them still do keep in touch !
I was settling down,and was very happy with my life here,and then Hubby got a better offer in Saudi,and we moved out of Dubai, in 2008. And we were out of Dubai,for 2 years..and came back in 2010 April. And those two years we spend in Saudi,and Kerala made us realize how happy we were here, and how badly we missed Dubai and our loved ones here! So obviously we were very glad to be back !!
And in 2010 ,I started living someone Else's life!! I was not me anymore. I was sitting idle at home..a full time house wife. The only time pass was facebook! I spend my whole day adding more friends,uploading pics,and chatting! I think I should write another blog with the title facebook and me!! The facebook life taught me many things..first of all the fact that where ever you go and live,the so called friends,relatives etc would be the same!! The people around would be more interested in your life than theirs'. As many other women sitting idle at home,I also got a "full time on facebook" title! My question to those is that if you are not full time on facebook how would you know that I am? ! And I realized that being full time online is not the issue,the problem is that "Am a woman" men can do whatever they want,and as they please..but women cant !!
And very late I realized when I was chatting,the people on the other side was flirting ! And I got another title as " desperate,house wife who is ready to flirt".When I was making friends,people were socializing..and I never knew how to socialize! So the whole problem was being too honest and innocent.
I never used to talk about others,my policy was if you don't have anything good to tell about someone,keep your mouth shut! And I don't comment about any one's character unless and until I know them personally,I don't judge anyone from someone Else's point of view,for I am not the same with everyone, very few know the real me,and very few love me the way I am.
Then I met a group of people,who turned my life up side down,and very late after two years,now I realize they are not my type of people or friends at all. For me friends are people who take you the way you are,who are not bothered about how you look,how you dress,how is your hair style,how beautiful is your features etc..I think when you love someone truly,all these factors doesn't even count,for me everyone ,I love is beautiful..every features of them is adorable..I don't even notice if their skin is awesome,if their eyes are sparkling,if they are wearing a branded outfit,or if they are wearing the same piece of cloth every time I see them even !!
Suddenly for the first time in my life,I was discussed about!how I look,how old I look,how big is my face,how bad I dress up etc etc..may be people used to discuss about all these earlier as well,but it was for the first time that I was informed about it as well !! And I felt it very bad,I started feeling uncomfortable with those people around,I was becoming very conscious how I walk even!! I started thinking,oh there is something wrong with me,I changed the way I look,I cut my hair,I changed the way I dress..in short I started feeling so inferior!! And the worst part was that these people kept on telling me how awesome my hubby is,that I know better than anyone in the whole world,its me who is living with him for the last 6 years !! I was very happy to listen to those praises for him in the beginning,but soon I got upset,the inferiority complex in me was reaching its maximum limits..I started to think over it,as I don't have any job at all, I thought and thought,so that means my hubby deserves someone far better,I am not enough for him,am not a good wife,after all I haven't given him a kid even,and my insecurity made me someone else,I started doubting on him,with every woman he met.I got jealous,desperate and angry if he talks with a woman,if any woman calls him,if any woman compliments him.in short I lost my sleep,my peace of mind and my confidence and I was losing my simple,beautiful life as well !!
And now I also started noticing people's outfits, looks,hair style,accessories etc !! Last day I talked to my hubby about all these stupid feelings I was going through,the very comment from him made my day! He told me don't even care about all those people,just ignore them. You are beautiful more than anyone,in my eyes..and they all don't even know how blessed I am to have you as mine, and they all don't even deserve to be even compared with you..all I need is you..so leave them behind..and be mine forever!!
So,now I am back on track,am beautiful in my own way,and all those wonderful people around me whom I love,who matters, are beautiful as well..those who don't love me,get lost..I don't give it a damn!! Accept me for what I am,who I am..or else please leave..!!
And there are people who tried to convince me that I am good as well !! Thank you ,and love you for what you did!
For last two years I was not living my life, I guess ! I became an Emarati,back in 2006.Though I didn't like the fast moving life here in the beginning, very fast I also started enjoying the "mind your own business" attitude and life here !! And to be very honest,that's what I like most about the city..nobody is bothered about what the hell others do and how they live here ! I was busy with the job I had in SCB, was learning slowly the politics out there,you cant go a long way,if you are too honest and sincere, you have to please many,to get your rights..and all these corporate laws was new to me as a fresher ! Anyways I really enjoyed my professional life,I had a very good circle of friends as well..some of them still do keep in touch !
I was settling down,and was very happy with my life here,and then Hubby got a better offer in Saudi,and we moved out of Dubai, in 2008. And we were out of Dubai,for 2 years..and came back in 2010 April. And those two years we spend in Saudi,and Kerala made us realize how happy we were here, and how badly we missed Dubai and our loved ones here! So obviously we were very glad to be back !!
And in 2010 ,I started living someone Else's life!! I was not me anymore. I was sitting idle at home..a full time house wife. The only time pass was facebook! I spend my whole day adding more friends,uploading pics,and chatting! I think I should write another blog with the title facebook and me!! The facebook life taught me many things..first of all the fact that where ever you go and live,the so called friends,relatives etc would be the same!! The people around would be more interested in your life than theirs'. As many other women sitting idle at home,I also got a "full time on facebook" title! My question to those is that if you are not full time on facebook how would you know that I am? ! And I realized that being full time online is not the issue,the problem is that "Am a woman" men can do whatever they want,and as they please..but women cant !!
And very late I realized when I was chatting,the people on the other side was flirting ! And I got another title as " desperate,house wife who is ready to flirt".When I was making friends,people were socializing..and I never knew how to socialize! So the whole problem was being too honest and innocent.
I never used to talk about others,my policy was if you don't have anything good to tell about someone,keep your mouth shut! And I don't comment about any one's character unless and until I know them personally,I don't judge anyone from someone Else's point of view,for I am not the same with everyone, very few know the real me,and very few love me the way I am.
Then I met a group of people,who turned my life up side down,and very late after two years,now I realize they are not my type of people or friends at all. For me friends are people who take you the way you are,who are not bothered about how you look,how you dress,how is your hair style,how beautiful is your features etc..I think when you love someone truly,all these factors doesn't even count,for me everyone ,I love is beautiful..every features of them is adorable..I don't even notice if their skin is awesome,if their eyes are sparkling,if they are wearing a branded outfit,or if they are wearing the same piece of cloth every time I see them even !!
Suddenly for the first time in my life,I was discussed about!how I look,how old I look,how big is my face,how bad I dress up etc etc..may be people used to discuss about all these earlier as well,but it was for the first time that I was informed about it as well !! And I felt it very bad,I started feeling uncomfortable with those people around,I was becoming very conscious how I walk even!! I started thinking,oh there is something wrong with me,I changed the way I look,I cut my hair,I changed the way I dress..in short I started feeling so inferior!! And the worst part was that these people kept on telling me how awesome my hubby is,that I know better than anyone in the whole world,its me who is living with him for the last 6 years !! I was very happy to listen to those praises for him in the beginning,but soon I got upset,the inferiority complex in me was reaching its maximum limits..I started to think over it,as I don't have any job at all, I thought and thought,so that means my hubby deserves someone far better,I am not enough for him,am not a good wife,after all I haven't given him a kid even,and my insecurity made me someone else,I started doubting on him,with every woman he met.I got jealous,desperate and angry if he talks with a woman,if any woman calls him,if any woman compliments him.in short I lost my sleep,my peace of mind and my confidence and I was losing my simple,beautiful life as well !!
And now I also started noticing people's outfits, looks,hair style,accessories etc !! Last day I talked to my hubby about all these stupid feelings I was going through,the very comment from him made my day! He told me don't even care about all those people,just ignore them. You are beautiful more than anyone,in my eyes..and they all don't even know how blessed I am to have you as mine, and they all don't even deserve to be even compared with you..all I need is you..so leave them behind..and be mine forever!!
So,now I am back on track,am beautiful in my own way,and all those wonderful people around me whom I love,who matters, are beautiful as well..those who don't love me,get lost..I don't give it a damn!! Accept me for what I am,who I am..or else please leave..!!
And there are people who tried to convince me that I am good as well !! Thank you ,and love you for what you did!
